Thursday, October 27, 2011

Content? or Poisoned?

Many times my friends within the church will tell me what's wrong with their life, or what they want instead, or where they want to be, or how messed up they are. 

But they add in fine print, a common lie. "But, you know, I'm content." or  "I'm trying to be content."  or "I know I should be content."

Because that's what a "good" christian says. Because contentment is expected, it's what we've been taught and told all our lives. If we want anything else, we're told we're rebellious and sinning. But that's wrong. 

I think we've have it wrong.

Most cases of "contentment" are actually apathy, laziness, helplessness, or giving up. 

Contentment is "a state of being satisfied" 
Satisfied is "being happy with one's state; well pleased." 

If your life is not where it should be, then you should not try to be content with it. 

God doesn't want "safe", socially acceptable Christians. This often means living as God intended goes against what the Church expects and teaches. But He doesn't want us to live life half-dead, suppressing the desires and gifts He's given to us. He doesn't want us to be so busy living so called "biblical" lives (a concept made up by legalistic, graceless Christians!) that we miss out on the unique path He's given each of us.

 no more cookie cutter Christians!

God gave you desires, gifts, talents, skills, thoughts, and dreams to use for His glory. He wants you to first love Him whole heartedly, and this includes loving what He loves.Including yourself. Love yourself. 

I'm so sick of the church teaching us that it's not ok to love and take care of ourselves. Yes, we are called to servanthood and to love others selflessly, but we're God's creation too and He wants us to be whole, unbroken. Realizing our worth shouldn't be a cause for pride, but if we genuinely see how He loves us, will bring us to joyful humility and thankfulness. 

God made you so beautiful and amazing, He planned out every inch of you. He didn't put you in a box, so don't let your parents or the church or society or anyone else hold you back from what He has for you. Don't. 
Stop it right now. 
Wake up! 

If you're living the way you are because it's easy, because it's expected, because someone else told you to, STOP IT. Run shamelessly after Christ, fall deeply in love with Him and learn to live fully alive. Don't waste any more time. Don't worry about what people will say or think. 

Don't be content with anything less than more Jesus, more grace, more love. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

We want jobs. that's why we go to school, not because we want to. Sure, sometimes we have some really amazing professors who teach us a lot about ourselves and life and God. We meet amazing people from all sorts of backgrounds, some that we love, some we hate. But they teach us things and help us become who we are.
I'm here because someone told me to go. I've stayed in this far because everyone tells me I have to. I'm sick of doing what they want me to. I'm done. I'm through.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I need to
my own words

of being a
crooked mirror 

I want to
with my 

broken fingers
not stained brushes

and only
with the feel 

magic racing
my mind and

singing inside 
my heart racing

holding back
not pretending and



Sunday, October 16, 2011

"You wanna be real, and when people aren't real they judge you for being so."
maybe I'm tired of people telling me how to act
when I don't want to act at all.
I want to be real. 

something's bound to break

I've been thinking about getting away. Far away.

I've been thinking about San Francisco. the city that stole my heart.
I've been thinking about New Orleans. the city that matches my heartbeat.

I've been mentally scribbling out a packing list.

I've been thinking about cooking. writing. living. breathing. painting. thinking.

I've been thinking about getting away.
Nothing, and everything.